Midge! Is that you? Midgery? Come on in, dear. I'm just putting my groceries away - I was marketing this morning, it being Thursday and all.
What's that? Of course I go to the market every Thursday! When else would I do it?
What?
Tuesday?
Midge, Midge, Midge. Once again, it's such a good thing we're friends. Allow me to right your wrongs and tell you exactly how one makes sure she keeps the perfect home each week. And how one avoids marketing on Tuesday. Really.
Here, take a look at my dish towel. See? It says "Thursday - Marketing". And look at tomorrow's! "Friday - Baking". You see, there's something for each day. Here's a handy way to remember what to do when (you know, in case you don't have dish towels to remind you).
Monday we wash and hang up the clothes,
Tuesday we press them - our care really shows!
Wednesday we mend and stitch and sew,
Thursday it's shopping - to market we go!
Friday we bake with sugar and flour,
Saturday we clean and wash and scour!
And Sunday, dear Midge, Sunday is best,
For that is the day we can finally rest.
But rest isn't really resting, is it? No! Sunday we have to make Sunday dinner. At least three courses, ending with a pie. Why pie? Oh, my! Midge, you always end with a pie. Men. Love. Pie.
So, Midge, you see how being organized can help you run your home more efficiently? What's that? When do I do car maintenance? When do I mow the lawn? When do I clean the eavestrough?
Midge, you are such a funny little thing! My husband does all of that, of course! Silly Midge!
Well, dear, it has been a delight talking with you - as always - but I must get back to my groceries...and then I must start dinner. There are lemons to meringue and pickles to relish and what not. So, dear, we'll chat again next week. And next week we'll have a LOT to chat about - my cousin Dorey is getting married and I'm going to be helping out with the ceremony!
Until then, dearest! Ta!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Decision Making
Oh, Midge. A-choo! You might want to sit in that chair over there. No, no *cough* way, way over there.
A-CHOO!
You see, I'm fighting a little cold, and I wouldn't want you to catch it.
Postpone today's lesson? Midge, we aren't getting any younger dear. You, specificially. The faster we - you - learn about what a man wants, the faster we - you - can find one of your own.
A-CHOO!
My goodness. That was a doozy.
I think I may have caught this cold from hubby. He was feeling a bit under the weather last week. That didn't stop me, however, from tending to his every need. Including kissing him and washing his handkerchiefs by hand. Yes, that may have done it. Or, more likely, I suppose, it was probably due to my damp hair and the cold weather conditions outside. Everyone knows that's a surefire way to get sick.
No matter, Midge. A perfect lady doesn't dwell on the negative. She exudes positivity!
A-CHOO!
Ask my husband to make dinner tonight? Midge, are you out of your mind? A little cold won't stop me from doing my wifely duties. Speaking of which, this week's lesson is called "Decision Making - How to Stay Out of Things."
What's that? Oh, Midge! Of course a lady gets to make SOME decisions. For instance, you can choose whether you want to use pine or lemon-scented cleaning solution on the hardwood. And if you want to paint your nails plum instead of raspberry, you can do that as well! If you'd like bubbly water, that's your own business. But let's not get crazy, OK?
Most of the decisions in life are made by the person best equipped to make them: your husband!
Yes, Midge, I know you don't have a husband. I can't even imagine how you get by, to be honest. You see, if you had a husband, he would do as mine does: decide what we'll watch on television, where we'll go on vacation (or if we even get to have a vacation!), what we should do on the weekend and what foods we should avoid (those he doesn't like, of course!).
You ENJOY making decisions? Midge, Midge, Midge - you only say that because you don't know any different!
A-CHOO!
What's that? You're going already? Well, I suppose it's for the best. I might be able to get in a little lie-down before hubby gets home. But come back next week, Midge. We'll be talking about wittiness - an area in which you have much improving to do!
A-CHOO!
A-CHOO!
You see, I'm fighting a little cold, and I wouldn't want you to catch it.
Postpone today's lesson? Midge, we aren't getting any younger dear. You, specificially. The faster we - you - learn about what a man wants, the faster we - you - can find one of your own.
A-CHOO!
My goodness. That was a doozy.
I think I may have caught this cold from hubby. He was feeling a bit under the weather last week. That didn't stop me, however, from tending to his every need. Including kissing him and washing his handkerchiefs by hand. Yes, that may have done it. Or, more likely, I suppose, it was probably due to my damp hair and the cold weather conditions outside. Everyone knows that's a surefire way to get sick.
No matter, Midge. A perfect lady doesn't dwell on the negative. She exudes positivity!
A-CHOO!
Ask my husband to make dinner tonight? Midge, are you out of your mind? A little cold won't stop me from doing my wifely duties. Speaking of which, this week's lesson is called "Decision Making - How to Stay Out of Things."
What's that? Oh, Midge! Of course a lady gets to make SOME decisions. For instance, you can choose whether you want to use pine or lemon-scented cleaning solution on the hardwood. And if you want to paint your nails plum instead of raspberry, you can do that as well! If you'd like bubbly water, that's your own business. But let's not get crazy, OK?
Most of the decisions in life are made by the person best equipped to make them: your husband!
Yes, Midge, I know you don't have a husband. I can't even imagine how you get by, to be honest. You see, if you had a husband, he would do as mine does: decide what we'll watch on television, where we'll go on vacation (or if we even get to have a vacation!), what we should do on the weekend and what foods we should avoid (those he doesn't like, of course!).
You ENJOY making decisions? Midge, Midge, Midge - you only say that because you don't know any different!
A-CHOO!
What's that? You're going already? Well, I suppose it's for the best. I might be able to get in a little lie-down before hubby gets home. But come back next week, Midge. We'll be talking about wittiness - an area in which you have much improving to do!
A-CHOO!
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